satire and nonsense as meme vaccine. join us. we can fun together and fun. nsfw. Written by: Zack Lane, Chance Dukenson, Gia Tripp, Sir Fauntleroy Van Dyke III Jr., The Duke of Almonds, and Ellen Magdalene.
Mar 13 2010

Double Trouble! Earth and Jupiter….eh fuck.

Chance Dukenson

Not since pale blue dot has a stronger statement existed.

Earth and Jupiter are literally in the same photo. This hasnt happened since the 1983 Carwash Tournament.

Stunning photo: Earth and Jupiter in the same shot | DVICE.


Mar 12 2010

Charlie, Bernie & Me

Ellen Magdalene

When I was a small [smaller than now] tangly-haired mess running around with the neighborhood crew, there were two brothers among the cast, Charlie and Bernie that stood out.

I remember their sticky fingers always covered in some type of film and straining and reaching at play. The boys lived across the street from me and my two sisters. They were the guys who always knocked on the door when my mother was in a bad mood and managed to pick their noses (not each others’) with all the liberty of 1920’s nudists.

There was an eerie amount of Star-Trek memorabilia which for some reason matched their mustard yellow two story home. Even their dog, Raisin, was repulsive and matched Star-Trek. Raisin was like a real raisin. In fact, he was a brown, drooling, shitting, raisin. He too, was covered in the same foreign boy residue residue. From which of the three parties this slime originated, was any one’s guess. My guess was Star-Trek.

For reasons that are obvious, my sisters and I were …’socially reserved’ in regards to Charlie and Bernie. As neighborhood clans go, however, they were unavoidable (you see, the use of their giant yard [fort] was imperative to our games [development]). Despite this gravitational appeal, it was never long before entering their grounds that we would be given ample reason to retreat. This is not a pun.

I vividly remember one occasion which set us over the edge. Charlie, the oldest, with his half toothed grin and inappropriately peaking sexual interest called to Raisin with one eye on me. Again, not a double entendre.

The lump of dog ran as particles of mud and fecal matter flew from all sides to meet the boy. Charlie leaned down to meet the dog’s panting, drooling mouth and pressed the two sets of tongues and lips against each other. It was only a brief exchange of eye contact between my sisters and the me before: through the yard, out the gate, across the street and into the house we went. Without so much as a glance backwards (or forwards- that implies faster right?), Charlie and Bernie cried out in agonized desperation, “Girls! Wait! We have Kool-Aide!….It’s Pink Flamingo!”

Their trade-mark fish hook would not real us into play this time.


Mar 12 2010

Bob Arno, pickpocket.

Chance Dukenson
Why don’t you have pants?
The judge asked. I said simply
“Bob Arno took them.”


Mar 12 2010

A response to dinosaurs

Gia Tripp

Dinosaurs never died.

I can prove it. Since I was a child and casually watched television, I knew there was a family, much like mine, that was of the dinosaur kind.

Dinosaurs live like us.
They have problems.
But best of all…
They eat each other.

Mar 4 2010

Why A Salad Costs More Than A Big Mac – The Consumerist

Chance Dukenson

Consumerist brings it home....

Why A Salad Costs More Than A Big Mac – The Consumerist.


Mar 2 2010

Brooklyn’s Finest: Cop Drama with Pants

Chance Dukenson

3Word:
enmeshed habituated descent

Bullet Point Madness:
NYC crime
Religion?
Righter and Wronger
Prostitutes
Boobs
Blood
Ziptie

Brooklyn’s Finest Haiku:
This is the best crime drama
since Turner & Hooch.
(Didn’t see K-9).


Mar 2 2010

“Satan even killed Dinosaurs.” – Jesus

Chance Dukenson

Ok so fun.

A fossil. Snake eating baby dinosaurs. Thats all.

It reminds me of eating those concentrated food pills except instead of turning into a giant extinct dinosaur they turn into a full thanksgiving meal with unreasonable family nearby.

How come in “The Old Testament” or “The Living Hebrew Bible” one of the gods says to the serpent [as punishment]:

“You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.” Genesis 3:14

Did the serpent have legs before? Why would god empower the serpent with legs? Wait. How did the serpent even get there? Who is in charge here (quips Reginald the Maitre D)? And if all the serpent gets to eat is dust how come he loses his legs but gets to keep his flexi-throat for eating things much larger. I guess one of the gods from genesis meant ‘you will only eat dust and giant dinosaurs and pet store albino mice. Of course, he could’ve meant that you’ll become one with the dust as fossils but that would require negating the New Earth Creationism.

The baby dinosaur tried to protect it self with little dinosaur jump kicks!

Sanajeh, the snake the ate baby dinosaurs : Not Exactly Rocket Science.


Feb 26 2010

A social networking confinement.

Chance Dukenson

Rock thumb.Hardplace.Gender A social networking confinement. A friend point this out. A haiku.

On a bored wednesday, try removing your gender from the profile of your ‘popular social networking marketing machine’ website profile. Each time you log in, you may be greeted with a fun imposition.

“Your Profile may be confusing.” The website attempts to engage you by seeking a perceived super-ego and projective empathy. Its your profile thats confusing. And right now. A sense of urgency and anticipatory grief will cause you to leap into our marketing boxes. Hizzah.

For their reference, we have included extra options:

___Male
___Female
___Intersex
___Transgender MF
___Transgender FM
___Hermes
___He-man
___She-ra
___Newt Gingrich
___Gender neutral user who limits profile info to keep advertisements general and delightfully vague. and who ignores the continued draw and appeal into networks. hmpf.



Feb 26 2010

Antichrist! NSFW. DVD.

Chance Dukenson


Lars Von Trier wrote and directed a marvelous. Its around. Its NSFW. Both of those things were just mentioned and fun.
It was dismissed as sexist and alarmist. Its neither. Watch more clearly and consider a perceptive spectrum over a toggle. Though, it is explicitly sexual and explicitly violent and often at once. There is more than just this or that. yay for pretentious ambiguifying! shut it.

3Word
Explicit Psychotic Ambient

A Haiku:

Your sex will cost you.
Therapeutic trauma based.
And close that window.